Money is rarely just about money. By the time a couple comes to therapy saying “we keep fighting about finances,” we are almost always looking at something deeper underneath: differing inheritances of how money felt growing up, unspoken fears about safety and freedom, hurt about who is seen and who is overlooked, and the quiet ways power can pool in one partner’s hands. Financial conflict is one of the leading predictors of relational distress — and one of the most rewarding things to actually work on, because the work changes far more than the bank account.

The fights that brought you here

Couples come to this work with all kinds of presenting concerns. You may recognize one or several: the same argument about spending, saving, or budgets — on repeat; hidden purchases, secret accounts, or financial details you’ve withheld from each other; a persistent imbalance where one of you earns more, gives more, or carries more of the financial planning; resentment about who pays for what, especially in blended families or second marriages; major decisions stalled — buying a home, having a child, leaving a job — because you can’t talk about the money piece; debt you’ve been ashamed to talk about with your partner; mismatched values around generosity, lifestyle, retirement, or risk; a growing sense that money has become a stand-in for everything else: trust, love, fairness, freedom.

If any of these feel familiar, you are not alone — and this is workable.

What we’ll do together

My approach to couples and money draws on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), psychodynamic work, and culturally informed couples therapy. We will slow down the cycle: most money fights run on a familiar loop, and we map it gently — who tends to bring up the topic, who tends to retreat, what each of you starts to feel under the surface — until the loop becomes visible enough that you can step out of it.

We trace the deeper meanings. Money carries inheritances we rarely choose: lessons from childhood about scarcity or abundance, cultural messages about provider and provided-for, gendered scripts about who is “good with money,” and the imprint of any earlier experiences of betrayal or precariousness. We make space for these stories so they stop running the show.

We repair the relational wounds. Money conflicts almost always come with smaller and larger ruptures: a moment you felt unseen, a remark that landed harder than your partner knew, an old broken promise. We tend to these gently, so the residue stops fueling the next argument.

And we build new, shared agreements. Once the emotional groundwork is laid, we move toward practical, mutually owned agreements: how decisions get made, how information is shared, how each of your values can be honored in your shared financial life. This is not financial planning — that’s the work of a financial advisor. This is the relational work that makes financial planning actually possible.

Who this work is for

I work with a wide range of couples on financial conflict: married couples, partnered couples, and couples considering marriage; cross-cultural and mixed-race couples navigating different cultural relationships with money; LGBTQ+ couples, including couples managing the legal and financial complexity of partnership outside traditional marriage frameworks; couples in second marriages or blended families; couples with significant income disparities; couples preparing for major financial transitions like marriage, home-buying, parenthood, retirement, or inheritance.

My approach

I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) based in East Sacramento, with 15+ years of clinical experience and specialized training in Emotionally Focused Therapy. After several years of private practice in San Francisco’s Mission District, I now offer secure virtual sessions to couples throughout California. My couples work is psychodynamically informed and culturally attuned, with care for the ways race, culture, gender, and class show up in money conversations.

Frequently asked questions

Is this financial planning? No. I am not a financial advisor or planner. My work focuses on the emotional, relational, and meaning-making dimensions of money. Many of my couples also work with a financial advisor — and find that therapy makes their advisor sessions more productive.

Will you take sides? My loyalty is to the relationship as the client. That means I’ll often hold one perspective at a time so it can be heard, but I won’t ally with one of you against the other. Both of your inner worlds matter here.

What if one of us is more reluctant about therapy? That’s common. We can begin with a brief consultation that gives both of you a sense of the room, the pace, and whether it feels workable. Hesitation usually softens once partners feel that neither of them will be put on trial.

Do we have to disclose all our financial details? Not in detail and not all at once. We will, however, work toward enough transparency that real repair and real planning become possible. We’ll go at a pace that feels safe for both of you.

Do you work with couples preparing for marriage? Yes. This page is especially relevant for couples noticing financial friction during premarital conversations. Naming and tending to these patterns before marriage tends to be one of the highest-yield investments a couple can make.

The fight isn’t really about the credit card statement.

If you’re ready to find out what’s underneath, I’d love to hear from you. Reach out for a free 15-minute consultation to see whether we’d be a good fit.